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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28234539">Where Crows rest their Feet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rillion/pseuds/Rillion'>Rillion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e18 Despair fix it, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff I guess, Gen, Heaven, I couldn’t just let them stand there, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Requited Love, anyway here is destiel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:47:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28234539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rillion/pseuds/Rillion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wants to have a conversation. Castiel answers his call.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where Crows rest their Feet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Everything is already so goddamn weird, what’s me suddenly writing something shippy, amiright?</p><p>Check the end notes for a bonus :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Single rays of sunshine wiggle their way through the cloud columns, that stride through the sky like a herd of unshorn sheep. Those which made it to the ground make the dew on the grass glitter in their light. Some are withheld not by clouds, but the trees that stand nearby, their leaves catching them, resulting in a calm shadow play with the light breeze. The bench, though worn due time, does neither crack or croak or creak as Dean sits down. His gaze grazes the illuminated water droplets on the grass. The boots on his feet show in darkened dots where dew drops have left their mark.<br/>
</p><p>Deans elbows are perched on his knees, his hands intertwined as he plays with his thumbs. His eyes stare straight ahead. The park is quiet because he wants it to be. And he found it because he wanted to. Like this. With a pond and the green grass and the nice but not perfect weather. With the slight breeze and the dew on his boots and the old park bench of worn wood that doesn’t creak. He wanted to end up here.<br/>
</p><p>

Deans thumbs stop fidgeting as the warm air of his sigh grazes his fingertips. Dandelion seeds dance through the air, struggling to go far with their wet caps.<br/>
</p><p>
“It’s done”, Dean says. “Sam’s here. The final part.”<br/>
</p><p>
His eyes stare at the clouds ahead on the horizon, where a line of trees meets the sky.<br/>
“I got everything I need”, he continues, “Except...”<br/>
</p><p>
A rough laugh shakes in his chest.<br/>
</p><p>
“Isn’t it time you showed?”<br/>
</p><p>
His thumbs start twisting again.<br/>
“Hm, Cas?”<br/>
</p><p>
The breeze is not strong enough to make the leaves above rustle. It merely moves them peacefully like a mother would rock her child to sleep. There is only the changing light as the clouds move over the sun and pass it and the birds, in the far distance, chirping a serene melody. The quiet makes the sudden flapping of wings seem louder than it is, accompanied by a rugged voice, like gravel under the tires of bis car.<br/>
</p><p>
“Hello Dean.”<br/>
</p><p>
Dean straightens his back as he turns to his left. His mouth twitches, not sure which direction to go, which expression to show. All control gone with the breeze and the dandelion seeds.<br/>
</p><p>
“You came.”<br/>
</p><p>
“I always come when you call.”<br/>
</p><p>
Castiel stares at him with uncertainty, wondering if he should avert his gaze or keep his eyes on the other man. Dean's face is a whirlpool of a thousand emotions at once and the angel can’t look away.<br/>
</p><p>Dean inhales heavily, turns away to look at the pond, reflecting the treetops on the horizon on its surface.<br/>
</p><p>“You know, if I wasn’t so damn happy to see you, I’d punch you.”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel huffs an unsure laugh as he follows Deans gaze to the pond.<br/>
“I probably deserve it.”<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah! Well, no. Doesn’t matter”, stammers Dean, dismissing the subject entirely and focusing on the drying dew prints on his boots.<br/>
</p><p>“Where is Sam?”, asks Castiel, out of necessity to say something.<br/>
</p><p>“Don’t you know?”, answers Dean, looking ahead unswerving, “Aren’t you kinda the ... new big man around here?”<br/>
</p><p>“Jack did all this. I just helped with the concept.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean glances at Castiel. “He gave you your wings back.”<br/>
</p><p>The angel nods with a slight smile. “He did. And he did so much more.”<br/>
</p><p>“Great kid”, says Dean, smiling, once again, watching the clouds reshape as they travel past.<br/>
</p><p>“You did good up here. This new heaven? Hell of a lot better than the last.”<br/>
</p><p>“Nothing will ever be perfect, but we try to come as close to perfection as possible.” Castiel leans back against the backrest, that also doesn’t creak, with his hands in his lap, fingers folded. He sees Dean nod. His profile begins to illuminate as the sun peaks through the clouds yet again. Everything glows. From his dirt blond hair, the stubble on his cheeks glinting golden, to his crooked nose from all the times he has broken it.<br/>
</p><p>“Cas, the last time we saw each other I-“, Dean breaks the sentence. He still stares at the pond and treetops in the far distance. “I want to talk about it.”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel says nothing and Dean finally looks back at him, straightening his posture from where he had been leaning on his knees again. He waits for a response that doesn’t come. He can hear the birds chirping again in the quiet.<br/>
</p><p>“Look,”, he starts, “You didn’t exactly give me time to think back there.”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel's lips press into a thin line. Dean's eyes are open, his face unable to pinpoint one emotion. He has always felt too much for his own good.<br/>
</p><p>“You were gone so fast I couldn’t process, I- I couldn’t say anything. I just wanted you to stay, but I didn’t know how to make you or stop you. I couldn’t do anything.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean's painful expression glows in the sunlight. He is beautiful even now, even back then, even with all the pain in his eyes. He is always beautiful.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m sorry”, says Castiel, at a loss for better words.<br/>
</p><p>“I thought I’d never see you again.”<br/>
</p><p>“I did too.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean's laugh sounds like a whirlwind. Happiness and sadness fighting for dominance. He wipes his face with his hand and turns away.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, now I’ve had time to think. Enough time”, he says, “And I knew, as soon as Sam got here, I knew you’d have to come. You’d have to stop hiding. I knew I’d be able to call out to you then.”<br/>
</p><p>“How did you know?”, asks Castiel.<br/>
</p><p>“I just did. I had to try. I had t- … I knew that I wouldn’t feel complete up here without you, Cas.” Dean looks into the angel's eyes. “I need you.”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel says nothing. He just stares right back into the complicated features of Dean Winchester, ever capable of showing emotion in the smallest twitch of a muscle.<br/>
</p><p>“I want to talk. So let’s talk”, Dean follows his statement a second later.<br/>
</p><p>“I was afraid you’d want that”, says Castiel, turning his head away. Dean chuckles.<br/>
</p><p>“You dug that hole. You’re gonna stand in it.” His thumbs fiddle again as he looks at Castiel, now turning his whole body instead of just his head. The shadow of the tree wraps Castiel's face in darker shades. It doesn’t take away from the warmth he radiates.<br/>
</p><p>“That’s what you get for saying all... all that and then just bail”, Dean adds, stumbling over his words more than he would like to admit.<br/>
</p><p>Castiel looks to his feet and the shiny dew droplets like pearls on his leather shoes.<br/>
“I didn’t think I’d have the chance to talk with you ever again.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean swallows. His jaw tightening slightly at the motion.<br/>
“Well you do”, he says, voice steady. He hopes Castiel would look at him now. And he does. After a long sigh, he does. The shadows of leaves dancing across his face as he finally turns around completely.<br/>
</p><p>“I did what I did because I wanted to save you”, says Castiel, slowly. “It was the only way and I couldn’t let you die.”<br/>
</p><p>“Even if you knew what that meant for you?”, asks Dean.<br/>
</p><p>“The art of sacrifice is something I learned from you, I believe.”<br/>
Castiel sees Dean's face. Something like blame is engraved in his features and Castiel knows it is not directed at him.<br/>
</p><p>“You sacrifice everything for the ones you love Dean. Is it so hard to believe people love you enough to do the same?”<br/>
</p><p>Dean shakes his head. The sun disappears behind a cloud. It would soon return.<br/>
</p><p>“No. I know that now. I do. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”<br/>
</p><p>“No one likes it. And I’m sorry I caused you pain. But I would not hesitate to do it again.”<br/>
Castiel's voice leaves no room for arguments. And Dean hasn’t planned on arguing. He bites his lower lip and nods.<br/>
</p><p>“So, in that moment, you were happy? Truly happy?”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel furrows his brows. The breeze has picked up in speed. The leaves of the trees were rustling now. Not loudly, but enough to hear and produce the illusion of a chill.<br/>
</p><p>“If you have any doubts if I was truthful with what I said-“<br/>
</p><p>Dean interrupts him with a raised hand. He smiles at Castiel and the sun returns to his face after another cloud passes.<br/>
</p><p>“I don’t. I know you were. And I’m thankful, Cas. Because you did something even Sam could never fully do. And that is making me believe I’m good. That- that there is something other in me than a purebred hunter who kills for a living. And I guess I needed you both, you and Sam, to tell me that, so I could believe it.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean exhales loudly.<br/>
“I do believe it. I had to after what you said. For the first time in my life, I was certain of what I’m worth– that I am worth the effort you put in me. And I still am.”<br/>
</p><p>The leaves seem to dance faster over Castiel's face as a smile spread its way across. A warm, slight smile.<br/>
</p><p>“That’s all I wanted for you”, he says.<br/>
</p><p>Dean's face shifts into something bittersweet, just as the sun shines at its brightest and the leaves rustle the loudest and the clear surface of the pond is obscured by a frog jumping into it.<br/>
</p><p>“You made me want to live Cas. Truly live. And I’m sorry I couldn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t hold on to that promise.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean breaks the eye contact for the first time in a long time. He looks down at his feet, the glittering dew is still there in the grass nearby.<br/>
</p><p>Castiel's hand lands softly on his shoulder. Just like it had many times before.<br/>
“You don’t owe me an apology. I know you tried. And you deserved to. And I wish it would have lasted longer. But this world it’s... unpredictable.”<br/>
</p><p>The rustling subsides and the frog in the pond has found a stone to enjoy the sun on. The treetops on the horizon still wiggle in the obscured surface of the water. The dandelion seeds fall faster with the lack of wind.<br/>
</p><p>“I didn’t want to come here so soon”, says Dean and looks at Castiel again.<br/>
</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry”, says the angel.<br/>
</p><p>“Don’t be. I’m okay. It’s okay. I’m good. I try not to be angry and get stuck in the past anymore. I’ve been doing that my whole life. I want to live here just as much as I lived down there.”<br/>
And with the smile returning to his face, Dean adds:<br/>
“And now I have Sam and I have you. Peaceful. Happy. That’s all I’ve wanted for the longest time.”<br/>
</p><p>The sun is shining, the dew is glistening and Dean Winchester is finally content. Finally free. Like the dandelion seeds. And he is golden in the sunlight. Castiel cannot tear his eyes away.<br/>
</p><p>“I’m glad you are happy Dean”, he says, chokes out over all these feelings welling up in his chest. Feelings hardly any angel has ever experienced in their intensity.<br/>
</p><p>“Are you?”, asks Dean.<br/>
</p><p>“What?”<br/>
</p><p>“Happy.“<br/>
</p><p>Castiel nods. Confidently. Never leaving Dean's eyes. The wind has picked up again. Shadows dance across his face.<br/>
</p><p>“Yes. I am now. Here, with you.” He smiles his most honest smile. So honest, his furrows start to appear.<br/>
“I’m at peace with what I can and can’t have”, he continues. “I don’t need anything in return from you, Dean. I’m happy with you just knowing what you mean to me.”<br/>
</p><p>The rays flicker with the clouds and Dean ducks his head, shaking it; ignoring the confusion spreading on Castiel's face.<br/>
</p><p>“Well, I’m not.”<br/>
</p><p>The angels stands confused.<br/>
“You just said-“<br/>
</p><p>“I’m done burying things. I’m done running. I can’t be here, at peace, still bottling everything up.” There is a crease between Deans brows. One of determination rather than anger. Maybe, someone would dare to call it desperation. Castiel doesn’t dare.<br/>
“So, I’m not running from this either.”<br/>
</p><p>Earnestness, illuminated by the sun. The dandelion seeds fly free. Maybe someone would make a wish. But Dean Winchester makes a promise instead.<br/>
</p><p>“You can have me, Cas.”<br/>
</p><p>Castiel says nothing. Can’t say anything. It is now Deans turn to watch as emotions wash over Castiel's face like tides. Appearing and retracting, just to appear again in a different shape. He hadn’t ever seen the angel feeling so rawly, openly, hadn’t even known he was capable, except once. And once had been enough for him to understand.<br/>
</p><p>The wind is rustling the tree. Shadow leaves dance over Castiel's face like a kaleidoscope. And Dean can’t look away.<br/>
</p><p>“Only”, starts Castiel, clearing his throat, hoping the roughness in his voice would subside, “Only if you’ll also have me.”<br/>
</p><p>Dean smiles. It reaches up to his eyes and forms the creases where crows have rested their feet over the years, and through many laughs. The dew glistens where the sun reaches the ground. The pond is still once again.<br/>
</p><p>“Anyday”, he says.<br/>
Castiel matches Dean's smile.<br/>
</p><p>The clouds roam the sky like a herd of sheep and the water droplets on Deans boots have dried. The bank doesn’t creak when they move in their seat, even with the aged wood. The pond reflects the horizon and the treetops in the distance.<br/>
</p><p>This bench, this park, Dean found it, because he wanted to. With the sparkling dew on the blades of grass and the ever changing light. And Castiel came because he knew it was time. With the birds chirping in the distance and the dandelion seeds.<br/>
Because here, everyone finds and everyone is found.<br/>
</p><p>Dean takes Cas’ hand where it brazed against the wood of the bank.<br/>
Shadows dance over Castiel's face. Dean is golden. And the wind is loud enough to rustle the leaves.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The end.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And then they went to the beach, with Sam, in matching Hawaiian shirts, finally retired...</p><p> </p><p>I didn’t I'd ever publish something quiet so romantic, least of all Destiel, but this past year has already been such a goddamn train wreck, it’s hardly a surprise.<br/>I gave it a friend of mine to read. She has shipped Destiel for a while and it was important for me to have someone, who is versed in this ship judge it. She loved it. So I decided to post it. I must say, I’m pretty proud of it, even if it’s out of my comfort zone.<br/>Also this is probably the most kitschy sweet thing I’ve ever written and probably will ever write. I’m exhausted. This drained me. But I felt like I needed to get this out of my system. Its what they deserve.</p><p> </p><p>Bonus, after a heartfelt conversation:<br/>“You and Cas huh?”, Sam grins lightly.<br/>“Shut up”, says Dean, turning.<br/>“No, no I’m happy for you, really”, says Sam, nodding and Dean knows he is sincere. That doesn’t mean Sam can’t tease his big brother. He promptly falls into laughter.<br/>“Okay, calm down.”<br/>Sam slaps him on his shoulder in encouragement. “You...it just makes so much sense.” His subsiding laughter leaves him with a big grin.<br/>“I hate you.”<br/>“No you don’t.”<br/>Sam chuckles at Deans frown.<br/>“I’m gonna go”, says Dean and turns.<br/>“Have fun! But spare me the details.”<br/>“You! Screw you.”<br/>“Screw <em>YOU</em>”, responds Sam, with emphasis.</p><p> </p><p>Double bonus: fitting Siken quote</p><p>The hunter’s heart, the hunter’s mouth, the trees and the trees and the space between the trees, swimming in gold.</p><p>- Richard Siken, “Snow and Dirty Rain.”</p></blockquote></div></div>
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